we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
