i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
