Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
