I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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