Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
