Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
wow bdsm is so cute
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
