Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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