you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
