No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
