Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
