You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
