it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
