Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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