GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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