My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
