Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
