just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
