I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
