# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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