Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
