just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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