shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
