I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
