at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
