and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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