Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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