apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
