Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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