the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
