I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
