Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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