I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
