we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
