She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
