Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
worst night to have a conscience
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
