What a fucking waste of an outfit
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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