He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
