i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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