You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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