Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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