If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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