she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
