You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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