Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
