Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
