Rock
Scissors
Fuck
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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