Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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