dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
