bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
