What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
