i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
