Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
