Me too!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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